Don't Panic

Ok, it's true, I've been in and out of a state of panic for most of the year.  I suppose panicked is probably my normal state (anyone else hearing the voices of those nurses asking "Do you have anxiety issues?") It's more-so now.  It seems all my best laid plans have been pushed aside to leave me cramming in the last minute, playing catchup as the clock runs down, running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Mom-in-law arrives in T- well I'm not exactly sure.... I guess Thursday though and for the sake of timeliness we'll call it less than 24 hours, ok.  After all, I hope to be sleeping any of those extra hours I'm off by and realistically I probably only have maybe 4-6 hours of real ability to get anything ready time left (see I am rather realistic about this stuff, or a try to be, 4 may even be the high estimate, but I'm trying to be an optimist and flailing.)  

The floor is "fixed", although the carpet isn't as stretched as it needs to be.  My goal to keep things open is coming against my husband's obsession with lining the walls with stacks of things and shelves.  I'm not longer really sleeping.  I just can't sleep, I'm in too much physical pain and discomfort.  Then there's the apnea and the fact that when my husband gets in bed the whole bed leans and it's like sleeping on a hillside (which I have done, you feel like you're going to roll down into the lake the whole night and you never get any sleep.)  Anyway, not sleeping.

I also spent the days I was going to use to work ahead and clean the bathrooms helping a friend have a baby and the extra day dealing with the return from our picture pilgrimage.  Staying the night was a great break and I didn't have to fight to stay awake, but the entire next day was lost in getting home and getting stuff taken care of around before we even got home.  By Mother's Day I couldn't get up no matter how hard I pushed myself.  Maybe I need to take a hint from my daughter's mother's day gift (a bookmark).  She wrote me a poem that says, "Mom, pretty, cool.  Likes to sleep in, Likes Butterflies, Mom 2011"  Ah her sweet ignorance, it's not really sleeping in (although I like that too), it's sleeping in the morning instead of at night.  Oh well, I guess it's good I'm naturally nocturnal, even though I feel like a zombie pretty much all the time now.

So much to do, we never see my mother-in-law - Seriously, in the almost 10 years since we married she's been here maybe 5 times, and this time I don't think she is going to be comfortable at all.  I just can't see the house even getting to presentable on time and I've already given up any thoughts of working this week.  It's going to eat those vacation hours, but what can you do?  Especially with one kid hurling her guts out?